Dangerously Out of Control

College is closing up shop. I can almost here the door slamming shut and the lights being turned out. Honestly, I never thought I would see graduation day or at least live to see it. The pace of my life reached new peaks and at some point there has to be a slow down or at least speed bump.

I can't yet imagine what the day after graduation is going to be like or the feeling I will surely have in my stomach when I attempt to fathom the rest of my life. My parents are scared too. Unlike the past generations on my family tree, I went to college and come home talking about some "thing" thats out there that is beckoning me away from the comforts of my Maryland home.

My Dad thinks I have lost it and doesn't understand why I insist upon "leaving". Was it something he did wrong? Nah. Definitely not. It is a product of wealth, prosperity, hope, guilt, and a liberal arts education. Our generation has been afforded opportunities many of our parents never though possible. We enjoy a degree of freedom in our lives unparalleled to the vast majority of the world. Of course we can afford to dawdle. We can afford to take on risky opportunities, low paying internships, and luxurious explorations to anywhere else. All for the sake of self actualization?

At least our parents money is being put to good use. I'd take self-actualization for my progeny over a new plasma tv. Will we ever really get it though...will chasing after something ever reach a defining climax in our lives? I don't know, I haven't got that far yet.

Tucked away behind the doubt of acutally finding the "thing"...wait let me talk about the "thing". I credit a professor of mine with this term, which he uses for basically anything that has "thingness", like a bike or a test or freedom. Anyway, the "thing" is the non-descript, vanilla name I have given to that feeling I have of there being more in this world. More of...I don't know something. All I can tell right now is that it has an indescribable beauty that has me captivated. I think about it, I ponder it, I pray about it, and I ask God to show me more of it.

Some may just call it a feeling of destiny or purpose but it is more than that. I believe it is more like God dangling fruit of possibilty. I feel almost like I am at a crossroads and more and more paths continue to spring up with infinite potentials or impending doom. Maybe it isn't that clear cut, but nonetheless the feeling eats at me. The choice.

My parents always told me that the "choices you make dictate the life you lead." This was a line designed to steer me away from drugs and excessive alcohol consumption in high school. Are they right though? Or will God steer me back on track or will I reach a point where the "thing" is out of sight and out of reach?

Right now, I am driven by hope to press on. Because in the pressing on I hope to experience this life as it was meant to be lived. Jesus came in part to throw mankind a life line to tap into the realist reality of life; to live life to the full. I hope also, that as long as I am chasing after the "thing", I will find myself living the Jesus-kind of life.

My faith is growing because of this pursuit because along the way I am getting a taste of this "thing". If you haven't figured out by now, I have faith that it is from God, authored by God, and fueled by God. It makes me stomach churn with excitement just thinking about it.

It has been brought to my attention by my subconcious that this whole thing has sprawled too far from its central focus of what makes college kids crazy. You may be shocked to find out that this is the whole point of this. I guess what I did was pursue that idea with my own insanity. Oh well.

Despite how good I think the "thing" is, I think it is guilt that might keep me in it too. I am privilaged and blessed so why shouldn't I try to do something or chase after something in my life that transcends money. My heart aches to reach the "least of these" bretheren. I care about the people who are having a hard time in this world, because we can still have joy, peace, and can still feel loved.

Finally, I want to say that...well just thanks for reading and please, if you read this, comment. I hear it is exciting.

The Life and Times of the Thunderbold Kid, Part I

Bill Bryson's book the "Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid" is a charming insight into the 1950's, providing what I think, is the key to understanding our present age. The book begs you to think about the content of your own book, about your own childhood. He writes so that you may consider the developments of your own era and how those events will shape the future.

Come'on, think about it? What happens when everything becomes more abundant? Obviously, people will consume more. World War II ignited an entirely new era of economic development, consumption and innovation. These factors effected all sectors of the market. Food, automobiles, electronics, appliances, TV's!

You can look at Dwight D. Eisenhower and wag a finger at him for not looking far enough ahead, into the future, to see that "hey maybe all of these cars are going to cause a problem". It is 69 degrees today...it is DECEMBER! Because of Eisenhower's enormously-well-funded-interstate-highway-system, public transportation has gone by the wayside. CO2 emmisions are at the forefront and what do we do with all these cars? Who is going to make changes? I hope it is the next president...GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL!

Ok. One last little tid bit. Bryson mentions the panoplay of foods that sprung-up in the 1950's and the roots of fast/convenience foods. Coupled with television, it isn't much of a mystery why childhood obesity is an issue. We are a fat nation. Heck, I am overweight. And I think that will be the byline of my generation. The Fifties began the fat and happy era and we are now entering the fat and dieting era. Look at all of the eating disorders! Look at all of the health clubs! Look at South Beach dieting! Look at the dietary supplements industry! Look at the low carb revolution! Maybe we can learn a lot about our era.

We are learning that we are not invincible. As Americans, we are learning that there are limits. You can't eat as much, you can't smoke a pack a day and keep the doctor away. You can't unilaterally invade a country against international opinion and expect a world full of friends. You can't continue to quibble over partisan lines and fail to make any meaningful changes toward a better America and a better world. I don' think we will feel invincible.

Thank you God that there are limits. Be with us.